Choice

Why do we shy from brokenness?
Why do we cover our tears?
Why do we cower from darkness?
An amalgam of all of our fears.
Why do we laugh and pretend
that all as is as it is not?
Why do we feign being found
When inside we know we are lost?
Why do we feel it is easiest
to pretend that we are whole and fine
True strength is best shown in the crackings
of our own faulty designs.

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Breathing

A weekend in action:
Yoga
Showering
Cleaning
Coffee
Crocheting
Driving
Bold Bean:
Reading
Writing
Singing
Driving
Crocheting
Watching (a movie?)
Sleeping
Waking
Coffee
Singing
Yoga
Showering
Crocheting
Writing
Reading
Sleeping

Look closely: what do you want?

I want to be clear.
I have no idea what I want
When I am asked I pause
Every time.
Perhaps there is a part of me that knows
I am confident in so many aspects of my life!
But there is one area
Just one
Where I fall short every time
I let fear cripple me
Fear of loss
Fear of rejection
Fear of so many things
I do not think I am enough or perhaps I think I am too much?
I hide my heart begin placid smiles
And friendship
I am an idiot.
Inside my heart races
It aches
It yearns
I am an idiot
And I don’t know how to change
I feel everything so deeply
But what I exude must be a passing indifference
For you to not see
For you to never see behind my mask

I want to be clear
I don’t know what I want